My mate Claudia is the kind of woman who reduces red-blooded men to dribbling wrecks. Her abundant, barely contained hourglass curves scream ‘sexy’, her long lashed peepers have a constant mischievous glint and her plump pout is practically demanding to be kissed. Any objective observer would describe this lady as dangerously beautiful.
Until recently, Claudia was dating a guy who not only physically repulsed her, but his constant attempts to undermine and ridicule her had a damaging effect on her self esteem. She remained in this sham of a relationship for almost a year. When I ask her why, her shocking response is that she did not think she was worthy of the kind of man she found attractive because she considers herself to be overweight.
I know from personal experience the price of selling yourself short. My ex is what can only be described as a Poisoned Dwarf, with no physically or emotionally redeeming features whatsoever. I mean, like, none. And when I met my current beau, who is impossibly handsome, in addition to being funny, caring and possessing a number of other qualities which I cannot list in a public forum without rendering it x rated, my default reaction was to assume that he was out of my league.
By pure coincidence, today a news story broke concerning actress Cheryl Ferguson (Eastenders’ Heather Trott)’s romance with a “penniless Morroccan toy boy goat herder”. Now, far be it from me to suggest that Cheryl is not desperately in love and that her penniless toy boy has anything but the most sincere of intentions, or anything. I’m just saying, potentially, there might be some synergy in our stories. You know, to make it topical and that.
Claudia, Cheryl and myself represent a worryingly high proportion of women in the UK – Professionally and socially confident ladies who are lacking our usual self-assurance when it comes to romance. Claudia says “I always felt like I was on the back-foot, like the guy I was with was doing me a favour or making some kind of concession by being with me. I look at really desirable guys and assume they want to be with someone slim”.
Women are by nature self deprecating creatures and we find all sorts of reasons to put ourselves down. Being curvy, however, must cease and desist as a potential reason. After all, if men are to be believed, it’s an asset.
It seems that despite this, however, the thin = sexy idiom is prevailing. So, in our first ever issue of Evolve Magazine, I will be finding out what men really think of fuller figures and to get tips from sexually confident plus-size women on how to work it in and out of the bedroom. This exciting first issue will also feature plus size fashion, health, beauty and lifestyle as well as arts and entertainment and will be out on 31st August 2010. Join the Evolve Magazine Facebook page for regular updates and remember the Evolve motto – Be Proud, Be You!